I lost my voice at a young age. I got to a point as a child where I stopped speaking my truth. My father was a cold man who always silenced us. He thought children were meant to be seen and not heard. Because of this I kept certain parts of myself invisible. We were often punished for being too loud and speaking when not spoken to. So I withdrew into myself and this continued into my teens and early adult years. This was a way I could protect myself because I feared being hurt if I spoke my truth or spoke up at all.
Growing up this affected other relationships I had because I let people take advantage of me. I was the go to person for others. I had a hard time saying no to things I didn’t want to do. I never spoke up because I feared conflict. I allowed my inner critic to tell me that I was not good enough. And all of this led to very low self worth that left me feeling like I didn’t belong, I didn’t deserve love and I could never do or have what I wanted.
Through my yoga and meditation practice as well as deep work on my self love journey, I slowly found my voice again. While in group settings I still tend to sit back and listen at first, it is not because I’m afraid of speaking up. It is because I like to take in all the information before speaking. Working with my good friend Coach Jennie I have worked on silencing my inner critic and worked on my feelings of self worth. I am enough, I am loved, I love myself and I am worth having all that I desire.
I now know that every time I authentically and courageously speak up I am allowing myself to love myself a little bit more. Because of my self love journey I have learned that I have a right to my voice and to speak what I think and feel. I have learned how to use my voice and even that some people need me to share my story. So now I turn it up and let it be heard unapologetic-ally.
Ways to Find your voice and speak your truth
- Pay Attention to the Present – when you are in situations, particularly group settings, pay attention to how you show up. Do you sit back and let others take over the conversation? Are you sharing your own ideas and feedback? This can be a great indicator of why you are not speaking up. Do you feel bullied, pressured, not supported or just downright uncomfortable? These moments can be helpful because you can begin to practice speaking up and using your voice.
- Stop the Enabling – look at your relationships. ALL OF THEM! Do you let people walk all over you? Are you enabling others to take advantage of you? Do you struggle with saying “No” to the things you really don’t want to do? These are all indicators that you are giving your power away and letting other people control your happiness.
- Silence Your Inner Critic – Now if this is an issue for you, reach out to my girl Coach Jennie. She is the Queen of silencing your inner critic. She helped me learn that our inner critic is really coming from a place of fear. Believe it or not, your inner critic is trying to keep you safe. But staying safe also keeps you playing small. So come up with some comebacks for your inner critic, silence them and do the things!
- Practice – as corny as it may sound, I found my voice but by practicing. I practiced speaking, I sang out loud, and I found my voice. I even used journaling to help structure my thoughts and found this useful in how I would present myself in public as well as online.
Are you speaking your truth? Are you sharing your story? Are you using your voice? If not, we need to talk! Check out the Work With Me section and email me about how we can work together and how I can help you turn your voice up loud and proud. You deserve to be heard, to be respected and to be loved.